Wife, mom, homeschooler... mess!

I wanted to take a second and give you a glimpse into who I am, because you might be able to relate to my story. 

I’m a homeschool mom to 8 kids. 

I’ve been married for 21 years. 

I’ve played classical piano for 35 years

I’ve taught music for 25 years to over 400 students. 

Though I’m so grateful for all the Lord has blessed me with, I have to be honest:

Most days I feel like a total mess.

Of my 8 kids, 3 are adopted. I love those kids more than anything and I’m grateful every day they are in my life. But where I once felt like I was the world's best mom, I now see my own lack more than ever. 

People come up to me all the time and tell me, You’re a hero! You adopted and rescued three kids! You’re a supermom. I want to tell them do you know I lost my temper today? Do you know I just yelled?

I struggled for years with guilt that all 8 of my kids can’t play piano. The reason they don’t all play is because when we first adopted, our home was in complete chaos. I had gone from 2 to 5 kids over night and was pregnant with #6. Their behaviors from their trauma was more than I ever expected or was trained to deal with. It took almost all of my attention.

I regularly feel like I’m coming up short as a wife, homemaker, and mother. I look at these moms around me making baby food from scratch and homeschool science projects and weekly history interactive lessons. I’m struggling just to teach math and English most weeks.

But about 10 years ago I learned a valuable lesson that would change my perspective forever. 

As I was in my daily time of prayer that day I heard the Lord whisper a phrase within my heart. 

Your best is beautiful to me.

It’s taken me a few years to believe it - but I can confidently tell you that today as I write this email, I am satisfied with giving my best. Even when my best feels so, SO weak. 

Do I still make mistakes? Daily. 

Do I still raise my voice to my kids? Yes, but not as often. 

As the confidence that God is pleased with my best sinks deeper and deeper I find a satisfaction and an actual enjoyment of my life as a mom, wife, homeschooler, and piano teacher. 

I’m just a mom who rests in the promise that His mercies are new every morning.

Can you relate to this?